For Marie, Who Has Heard My Voice for 30 Years

Have you ever found yourself out of tune with your own dreams? I did, but I didn't know it. But, thanks to my wife, Marie, I found a dream I had forgotten had.

On an ordinary Sunday about 15 years ago, I was working on an electrical outlet in the bathroom, and I was singing to myself. Marie came in and said to me, “You have a nice voice.”
I didn't believe her. In fact, I knew she was wrong, so I responded automatically with, “Oh, I can’t sing.”

Marie's not usually given to confrontation, but those were fightin’ words to her. She grabbed my collar, looked me squarely in the eye and said, “You listen to me. My whole family sings. I’ve been around singers all my life, so I know a good voice. I’m telling you; you should think about singing in a group.”


She was right. Her sibs are all good singers, so she really did know what she was talking about. And I had always wanted to sing when I was younger. But people wouldn’t listen to me. Instead, they would ask me questions. Questions like, “Why don’t you shut up?”

But Marie inspired me to at least try singing. But where — and how — does one start to sing? Luckily a group at work gave Christmas concerts. And ANY one could join… without auditions. It was a great place to start because their standards were so low that even I could get in.

I practiced for months for the Christmas concert. By Christmas, I was singing “The Hallelujah Chorus.” Hallelujah indeed! I was finally singing! It opened up a whole new world for me. First Christmas. Then, the national anthem at ball games… and of course, the four most terrifying words to music fans everywhere: “Who’s up for karaoke?”

The amazing thing was…people now wanted me to sing. I was even invited to join a different vocal group named A Cappella Pops — 40 men and women whose only sound are their voices — a vocal orchestra. For this group, I had to audition… and by this time, I was good enough to be accepted on the spot.

This was singing on the next level. We sang across the United States. I’m on two CDs. We sang at the White House for Christmas. I even sang at Carnegie Hall. Now there were more of us on-stage than there were people in the audience… But I still sang at Carnegie Hall. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it!

Look, I have no pretensions about my voice. I really don’t sing like Frank Sinatra. But so what? A minister once said that the forest would be a quiet place if only the best birds sang. Sometimes, the only voices we hear are from the people who delight in telling us everything we can’t do...the people who tell us we can't sing, or paint, or play sports, or work on cars. These are the people in our lives who, for some reason, want to keep us down. But if we're lucky, someone cares enough to grab us and shake us until our dreams are revealed like the prizes in a pinata.

That is what Marie did for me with this simple gift of encouraging me to sing.


Today is our 30th wedding anniversary. The occasion inspires me to ask all of you to learn to hear the voices of our loved ones and to help them follow those voice, like Thoreau's "distant drummer." If we aspire to be better communicators, as well as the best friends, lovers, spouses and significant others we can be, then we should not express ourselves so often as we should listen to the people around us.

Thank you, Marie, for hearing me for 30 years, dreaming the same dreams and singing together to form a unique harmony. I love you.