Celebrating the Birth of Christ

It is the morning of Christmas Eve. The neighbors’ houses are brightly decorated, the cards are mailed, and our gifts are wrapped. My wife, Marie, is preparing a seven-fish dinner Christmas Eve dinner, an Italian-American tradition that she has adopted for our family over the last 10 years. But in this moment in the early hours, I find my time to reflect on what this season means to me.

Like many men of my Boomer generation, I struggled with religion, particularly my Catholic Church. I dealt with the inconsistencies and hypocrisies that exist in all religions, yet I found myself always drawing back to church and my desire to lead an ethical life. I saw so-called religious people — many to whom I am related — profess disdain, if not outright hatred, for people who were different from them. When I talked about helping someone who was down, the response that shot back at me was, “Who helped ME?”

Through them, I questioned, “Is this how people who call themselves Christians are supposed to act?”

Finally, somehow inspired, I found I could come to terms with the role of Christ in my life by concentrating on a single passage from the New Testament (John 15:12), in which He says:

“This is my commandment,
that ye love one another,

as I have loved you.”

That single sentence is everything for me. It informs my thoughts and actions. It causes me to ask myself how I should treat my fellow humans, regardless of their colors. Regardless of their facial features. With no mind of their gender. And without judgment of whom they choose to love.

When I am in want, I hope that someone will reach out to me, whether I need a consideration, an opportunity or a kind word. Do I, in turn, give my own gifts to others? Do I give from my abundance or from my leftovers?

When someone commits a wrong, how willing am I to forgive?

Am I even willing to let another car in front of me when I am in a long line?

When I vote, is it in habitual response to an ingrained ideology, or am I really choosing someone who will make life better for all of us through the judicious use of public service?

Years ago, when I worked as a young intern on a local religious program, I had the pleasure of meeting spiritual counselor Tony Campolo. He has always been unlike most evangelical Christian ministers in that he spoke in common language, spreading a message of love and humor. In recent years, I saw him on a national political talk show when the subject was religion in public life. He said —and I’m paraphrasing here, as I don’t remember his exact words — that nowhere in the New Testament did Jesus comment on gay marriage, prayer in school, or keeping our wealth. However, He did speak frequently of looking after one another. No one else on the panel could respond to Tony or dispute him.

As I have experienced more than 50 Christmases and am well past the ephemeral enjoyment of toys, I give much more thought on the birth we are supposedly celebrating. The Jesus Christ I know, love and admire is not a figure of retribution but one of love, a traveler and teacher who reached out to all. I see Him more often in the actions of community workers than in those of politicians, more sincerely in Mother Theresa than in televangelists. I hear His message more strongly in Michael Jackson’s “Man in the Mirror” than I do in many sermons and hymns.

In this year-end celebration that is common to so many of our cultures, let’s reflect on our roles in this imperfect world. If you profess to follow a Perfect Master like Jesus, Buddha or Mohandas Gandhi, this can be a season of renewal and a time to recommit to their principles.

I wish you all a happy, healthy and prosperous new year.