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| Bob Reif smiles proudly upon his family: (from left) Eric, Amy and Melissa. |
Wow! From this vantage point, I am able to see so many people who were touched by Bob. From where you are, I ask that you look quickly to your left... your right... behind you and in front of you.
Do you see all those people with us today? I guarantee that you all have one thing in common. I'll bet Bob made every one of you laugh and be happy at one time or another.
My wife, Marie, and I share a favorite memory that illustrates Bob audacious sense of humor. It was at the funeral of his father, Martin. When Marie and I came up to the casket to express our condolences, Bob's mother, Annalise, looked wistfully around at the crowd -- the many people in attendance -- and she said, "Look at all these people. Isn’t it nice? Marty would have enjoyed seeing them."
Bob looked at the casket, smiled at us and said, "Yeah, in fact he would have preferred it."
He had few filters, no sense of shame and little sense of propriety. And that was because he understood that it is not the years in your life that are important, but rather the life you give your years.
Bob's mind operated at the speed of light. He was so fast and he had stored so much information that he could make a pun or a joke or an incisive and insightful observation seemingly instantaneously. It was hard to keep up with him. But along with a fast mind, Bob had persistent values. Those of us who knew him, as I have for more than 45 years, know that that he saved his biggest barbs for politics. He was unabashedly, unapologetically and unilaterally liberal. And Democratic. Bob is the only person I know who could have his son wear a T-shirt that read, "Friends don't let friends vote Republican."
By the way, if you are Republican, please don’t take offense at this. I have been on the opposite side of Bob’s politics, and I am left of center myself. By the time Bob was done with me, I looked like Rush Limbaugh to him. If you’re offended, we can blame Bob today.
But I also understood that Bob's values came from the wellspring of charity and altruism that has been the hallmark of modern American Judaism over the course of the 20th century through the present.
You see, even as Bob grew more successful in his life, material things never really possessed him. Instead, he continued to care genuinely for others who were less fortunate than he was. And he believed that we needed to care for another. He lived the words of Psalm 82: "Defend the cause of the weak; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked."
It speaks well of Bob to say that these qualities are considered old-fashioned today. As the chairman of Epstein Becker Green so beautifully expressed in an e-mail to the firm yesterday, Bob was loyal, fair, committed, and an eager mentor to new members of the firm. In the tumult of everyday life, it was not often about him. Amy, Eric and Missy, his brother Gerry, his mother and father, his mother-in-law Kitty, and we, his friends... all of us came first.
I can attest to this from personal experience. During the course of his fight with pulmonary fibrosis, Bob learned that I was also ill. From his hospital bed, he wrote a message to me that encouraged me to fight and beat the disease. Even in his most challenging time, it was not about him.
No words that I or anyone will give you today can remove the hurt, the betrayal we all feel after such a promising period after Bob’s transplant. But here in the presence of God, we can choose, over time, to thank Him that the life of Bob’s years was so abundant with the virtues of
joy and wit…
benevolence and selflessness…
honor, idealism and integrity…
his ongoing wonder and curiosity for all the world has to offer,
and in the end, courage.
And God, please take Bob with the open and generous arms that he extended to so many of us. But however You take him... please don't take him too seriously. I guarantee You; he can make YOU laugh, too.
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